NEED SITTER 4 MY 1YR OLD 2NIGHT @ AFFORDABLE PRICE.
Date: 2009-12-31, 1:16PM EST
I NEED A LOVING BABYSITTER IN A CLEAN HOME, WHERE I CAN BRING MY SON 2NIGHT @ AN AFFORDABLE PRICE SO THAT I CAN GO OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS 4 NEW YEARS EVE. HE WILL BE ASLEEP FOR THE MOST PART. I AM ALSO MOBILE TO TRAVEL BETWEEN CONYERS AND THE DOWNTOWN AREA.
PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH RATES AND EXPERIENCE IF INTERESTED.
THANKS
And the tears started while I was sitting at the table, and I had to retreat to the ladies' room. Where I sobbed. I think it's been awhile since I sobbed. I know what happened to Addison was just bad luck. I know it was a terrible accident and it was no one's fault (not even Addison's). And it's still so unfair. There are children brought into the world by people who have a pretty blatant disregard for their safety and well-being. There are children brought into the world by people who actively seek to hurt, exploit and violate them. There are children born into tragic circumstances. I am not only incredibly sad for the children destined to live these lives, but I'm angry that their parents successfully had them.
I love Addison so much and wanted to care for her and love her and raise her. That's all I wanted to do. And it was taken away from me. And Chris. And Calvin (who asked me out of the blue yesterday why Addison couldn't get better and come home). The anger and sadness sometimes gets overwhelming.
Oh, I am seeing my Perinatologist for a follow-up in 2 weeks (they call it pre-conception testing; I call it post-death testing). Whatever you call it, hopefully we will rule out anything that may have happened to Addison that could happen in the future.
And I found a shrink I think I will like. I'm seeing her for the first time on Wednesday. I'm hoping to work through these feelings with her. Here's to hoping we mesh (or at least don't clash).
Ouch.
ReplyDeleteAll we wanted was Matilda too - we were prepared for the health problems in her childhood and would have coped with them but we didn't even get the chance.
We're off to give some DNA samples tomorrow which hopefully will tell us if the BWS was sporadic or familial.
Hoping you do mesh with the shrink - it's really helped me to talk about it.
Am just back from a weekend with a number of the women from our Mothers of Angels forum. I'll write more about it on my blog tomorrow but they all assure me that while the pain never goes the time between the intense waves of pain increases.
xx
That is sad. It is so awful, the disregard some mothers, especially some of the younger, less educated ones, have for the lives of their children. Part of the reason why I waited until I was older and married was that I wanted to make sure my partying, my social life and seeing my friends was out of my system so that I could devote myself to the total care of my children. It sickens me when I see young mothers out late at night pushing their strollers or read things like the ad you posted for us to see. It doesn't seem fair at all, and I think it's one of the hardest things to accept.
ReplyDeleteI can so so relate.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend's girlfriend (who has 'sexy' and 'kitten' as part of her email addy) drank and smoked her way through her latest pregnancy - the last of six (she's now been sterilised - thank CHRIST). I know for a fact that in one of her earlier pregnancies (probably more than one of them, i just only have evidence for one) that she was doing speed as well as drinking and smoking. and she has had SIX PERFECT CHILDREN. of which only two live with her.
... yeah. she is a sharp lesson in how life is completely, gut-wrenchingly unfair. i don't begrudge my friend his son - that's his only child, and likely to remain his only child, and he loves him with fire and wouldn't let any harm befall him that he could ever prevent....
but i want to strangle her with my bare hands. he'd be better off without her anyway.
(did i say that? i'd never hurt her - she is still in touch with all her kids; i wouldn't do them out of a mother and i wouldn't wish my pain on anyone. even on her.)
good luck with the shrink and with the post-death testing. thinking of you.