NEED SITTER 4 MY 1YR OLD 2NIGHT @ AFFORDABLE PRICE.
Date: 2009-12-31, 1:16PM EST
I NEED A LOVING BABYSITTER IN A CLEAN HOME, WHERE I CAN BRING MY SON 2NIGHT @ AN AFFORDABLE PRICE SO THAT I CAN GO OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS 4 NEW YEARS EVE. HE WILL BE ASLEEP FOR THE MOST PART. I AM ALSO MOBILE TO TRAVEL BETWEEN CONYERS AND THE DOWNTOWN AREA.
PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH RATES AND EXPERIENCE IF INTERESTED.
And the tears started while I was sitting at the table, and I had to retreat to the ladies' room. Where I sobbed. I think it's been awhile since I sobbed. I know what happened to Addison was just bad luck. I know it was a terrible accident and it was no one's fault (not even Addison's). And it's still so unfair. There are children brought into the world by people who have a pretty blatant disregard for their safety and well-being. There are children brought into the world by people who actively seek to hurt, exploit and violate them. There are children born into tragic circumstances. I am not only incredibly sad for the children destined to live these lives, but I'm angry that their parents successfully had them.
I love Addison so much and wanted to care for her and love her and raise her. That's all I wanted to do. And it was taken away from me. And Chris. And Calvin (who asked me out of the blue yesterday why Addison couldn't get better and come home). The anger and sadness sometimes gets overwhelming.
Oh, I am seeing my Perinatologist for a follow-up in 2 weeks (they call it pre-conception testing; I call it post-death testing). Whatever you call it, hopefully we will rule out anything that may have happened to Addison that could happen in the future.
And I found a shrink I think I will like. I'm seeing her for the first time on Wednesday. I'm hoping to work through these feelings with her. Here's to hoping we mesh (or at least don't clash).