Wednesday, March 17, 2010
To my knees
I remember now why I avoid looking at the pictures of Addison. Watching the naive happiness on our faces in that first day contort into total numb the next. And then watching Addison's skin color and whole face change during that week of her life. The week that WAS her life. As we starved her to death. Hoping for her death not only for her, but for us. Being in a position that absolutely no parent should ever have to be in. The pictures that document her transformation from a beautiful perfect newborn baby, to a statue, to the dust that is now literally in a statue on our mantle. It sickens me. It breaks me down and brings me to my knees.